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10 Tips To Help Extroverts Shut The Heck Up Once In A While

There are plenty of articles on how introverts can be more social, but I’ve never seen this concept reversed.

So I wrote one myself.

Without further ado, here are 10 tips to help extroverts shut the heck up once in a while.

  1. Try staying in when you want to go out - Even God took a day off from creating the Universe. Do you think you’re better than God? Stay home once in a while and read a book. It wouldn’t kill you to keep your trap shut for an evening.

  2. Practice conversation enders - Introverts are full of effortless conversation enders. Instead of interrogating your conversational victims, try following up with some convenient one-word responses: “okay”, “nice”, “cool” and “interesting” are all proficient conversation enders. You could also just say you have to poop.

  3. Try listening to others for a change - Even if your voice sounds like an angelic harp, it’s nice to let others talk sometimes. You might even learn something new if you actively listen without spewing your own dose of verbal diarrhea everywhere.

  4. Stop asking so many questions - Chances are you’re not a homocide detective. Stop cross-examining people as if you’re investigating a murder. Honestly, you’re making everyone uncomfortable. Just stop.

  5. Take it down several notches - You’re currently vibrating at a Kathy Griffin level of social intensity. I’m going to need you to take it down to a nice, mellow Keanu Reeves vibe.

  6. Pause and breathe while speaking - Listen, nobody really wants to revive you from a lack of oxygen to the dome. So if you must flap your lips regarding a recent trip to the podiatrist, do us all a favor and inhale once in a while.

  7. No more boring stories - If it takes twenty minutes to tell someone that you bought a television, your story is boring. Trust me, the listener wasn’t doing much listening during your extensive monologue on liquid-crystal displays and how your new TV screen is bigger than your ego.

  8. Eliminate mindless small talk - Small talk is like a drunk guy at a bar who makes a lot of noise but never really says anything coherent. Also, everybody hates him. Don’t be that guy. Whenever you feel the need to talk about the weather, finances, gossip, religion, or racist jokes, simply cover your mouth with duct tape and practice nodding. Nothing labels you an asshole quicker than a heated debate sparked by your admiration for Trump.

  9. Be a little mysterious- Don’t reveal every single detail about yourself. Nobody needs to know about your most recent bowel movement or the number of grapes you ate at lunch. If Lucy in accounting can describe your new vegan diet in painstaking detail, you’ve probably said too much.

  10. Say nothing rather than something - Just because you think a thought doesn’t mean you need to say it out loud. In fact, it’s polite, respectful and less annoying to keep most thoughts to yourself. I’m sure you might think your newfound enthusiasm for The Bachelor is important, but I can assure you it’s not. Nobody cares who your favorite contestant is and nobody wants to hear your personal analysis of the series. So the next time you feel the need to blurt out your thrilling weekend plans with your cat, just don’t.

Feel free to use any or all of these tips as often as possible, and remember, less is more!

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