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Kardashian's Plastic Surgeon Successfully Reassembles Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty is notoriously obsessed with walls.

After unexpectedly falling from a wall, the king's men rushed Humpty Dumpty to Dr. Garth Fisher, a world-renowned plastic surgeon with over 20 years experience Frankensteining celebrity body parts.

Mr. Dumpty arrived at the Beverly Hills office in a plastic grocery bag and was immediately dumped onto the operating table.

Using store-bought Gorilla Glue and various shells from a leftover breakfast omelette, Dr. Fisher painstakingly pieced the broken egg back together like a boss.

According to Dr. Fisher, Humpty Dumpty was cracked into a million pieces but still required less surgery than a Kardashian.

After a few hours in the recovery room, Humpty Dumpty was back on his feet and already obsessing about walls.

"Thanks for the patchwork, doc," said Humpty Dumpty. "By the way, what's the deal with that sitting wall in front of your office? I feel the need to lift my perspective by about 4 feet."

Dr. Fisher paused for a moment and looked at Humpty Dumpty with disdain.

"Sir, you are an arrogant prick," said Fisher. "If you sit on that wall, I will personally knock you off and turn you into a quiche."

As you probably guessed, Humpty Dumpty did not respect the doctor's wishes because he is a legally insane talking egg.

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