Tom Brady leads the NFL in career touchdown passes, successfully tossing the ball to the end zone with pinpoint accuracy 581 times. He's won six of nine Super Bowl appearances to date and is battling for a seventh Super Bowl championship this Sunday in Tampa. Now playing in his 21st NFL season, 43-year-old Brady is the oldest active player in the league, but with advances in modern technology, it's not crazy to imagine Brady quarterbacking for another 21 years.
After being selected 199th overall by the Patriots in the 2000 NFL draft, Brady quickly became starting quarterback in his second season with the team, leading New England to its first Super Bowl title in 2001. Twenty years later, and with little signs of aging, Brady proves that he's obviously a cyborg.
As Brady prepares for Sunday's matchup against the Kansas City Chiefs, the NFL is hard at work adding a very special clause to his contract. Moving forward, Brady will become the first player to have Medicare coverage inked into his deal, paving the way for more elderly men to continue playing into retirement.
"I think it's great," said Buccaneers head coach Bruce Arians. "As an organization, we were willing to do anything to acquire Tom, including some less-than-reputable illegal activities involving nuclear explosives and a 1977 AMC Gremlin."
Brady plans to use his Medicare coverage immediately to repair 21 years of extreme bodily damage, including a fractured collarbone, torn cartilage in the shoulder, and chronic bursitis. The star quarterback also plans to replace both arms with bionic limbs that shoot laser beams and produce cold brew coffee.
"If I were the Chiefs, I'd be scared right now," said Brady. "Once I start shooting the opposition with my laser arms, it's game over."
After he retires from professional football, Tom wants to become a Transformer, like Optimus Prime, and help defeat the Decepticons.