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Nabisco Halts Oreo Production After Cookie Monster Caught Masturbating into Creme Filling
Everybody knows that Cookie Monster loves cookies, but who knew the voracious Muppet also enjoyed having sex with them? Ricky Ramirez, a...
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Jan 21, 20211 min read


Biden Says Trump Installed Dozens of Glory Holes that Completely Depreciate Value of White House
It's move-in day at the White House in Washington D.C. and the Biden family is settling into their new 221-year-old home. Preparations...
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Jan 20, 20211 min read


Tonight Show Forgets to Program Jimmy Fallon and Now He Can Only Giggle Uncomfortably
Jimmy Fallon is known for breaking character on Saturday Night Live, but did you know he also hosts a late-night TV show? That's right,...
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Jan 20, 20211 min read


Gang of Badass Toddlers Arrested for Smuggling Moonshine into KISS Concert
A group of belligerent toddlers were arrested at American Family Insurance Amphitheater early Sunday morning after police said they were...
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Jan 19, 20211 min read


Bugs Bunny Opens Carrots & Bondage Hotel and Nightclub in West Virginia
Classic Looney Tunes cartoon character and infamous carrot addict Bugs Bunny has opened his first adult night club in the heart of...
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Jan 18, 20211 min read


Email from Donald J. Trump
To: Jim Carroll, Director of National Drug Control Policy Subject: Operation Tiny Walrus Hi Jim, Hope you’re well and not wearing a mask....
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Jan 16, 20211 min read


One-Armed Man Steals Bionic Arm from Army Research Center
Police are looking for a one-armed man who they say broke into the Army Research Center, threatened employees at gunpoint and took off...
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Jan 16, 20211 min read


Hot Dog Eating Champion Joey Chestnut in Serious Condition After Swallowing 74 Ceramic Plates
“I was doing everything backwards, it just wasn’t like me,” Chestnut murmured as he unzipped his pants to shit out shards of glass....
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Jan 16, 20211 min read


2-Year-Old Beagle Wins 90% of Popular Vote for California Governor
A 2-year-old beagle from the Los Angeles County Animal Shelter is in prime position to become California’s first ever canine governor....
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Jan 16, 20211 min read


Inside Trump’s Plan to Re-Assassinate President Lincoln
Donald J. Trump, habitual half-wit and President of the United States, revealed this morning his plans to re-assassinate former president...
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Jan 16, 20212 min read
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